Stefan Braidwood loves Hip-hop and Adverbs

An article caught my interest on Popmatters today. It was titled, "HOW HIP-HOP MUSIC IS SLOWLY TRANSCENDING ITS CIRCULAR CULTURE" by Stefan Braidwood. Cool topic I thought. So I clickety-clacked the link and started reading. I couldn't make it past the first two paragraphs. Each sentence was bloated with over-descriptiveness, and the writer's ideas were all over the place.

Using the browser search function, I looked up all of the words ending in "-ly", because I had a hunch his article was being sunk by the infamous adverb. Bingo! A rough count showed that he uses an adverb 81 times in a 14 paragraph article. Yikes. Dude needs the passivator.

Peep this one overdone sentence: "Ironically, the man who obscured him, arguably both the most critically acclaimed and publicly adored MC on the planet, has just withdrawn from the scene, if only temporarily."

I tried to email Stefan but could not get the link to work. Then I figured that since the mistakes are public, the corrections might as well be.

I don't like sloppy writing, especially when it deals with hip-hop music. Last time I did something like this I got blasted about my own grammar mistakes, which there are plenty. Well, I'm at it again.

Comments

[ian]

Ah man, if a tree falls in the woods.... I mentioned that article 2 weeks ago (8/6).

[lynne]

I haven't read the article yet, but I will. I did follow the links to all of your references though - and yeah, I could blast you on this, but I won't. In defense of editorial websites and publications, I do have this to say though: a lot of times you get an overworked, short staffed team, and yes, then sometimes there are grammatical and spelling errors. You'll even find things such as these in books from well-established houses, and publications such as the New York Times. This is not an excuse of course, but more of a if you were in their shoes, how much better would you do? I know that the editors at popmatters, for instance, do it for the love. None of them are getting paid, and I can not certainly say w/out a doubt that any of them had actually been writers or editors in the past. As for other sites you mentioned in other posts, I can definitely say those folks are overworked and short staffed.

What I've learned, even with the sites I work on professionally, as well as the ones I work on personally, is that users would comment and give feedback if they find errors. I know you tried to contact the writer of the popmatters article, but if you look on the contribs page - http://popmatters.com/contributors.shtml - you should be able to contact one of the editors.

[BlkScholar]

Lynne has some good points there, but the fact remains that Braidwood's writing style is hard on the brain. I have not seen such prolific use of the word "whilst" (15 times!), since high school, when we used to read books by authors of the 19th and early 20th century. His flowery use of language smacks of an attempt to appear more intelligent by being wordy.
Incidentally, this was one of 'Pacs greatest strengths. 'Pac was extremely simple much of the time, yet his points always touched your heart. This is definitely the mark of a good writer, at a time when many emcees are doing the whole "metaphysical scientifical lyrical...every time I spit at you" style of rap in order to feign intelligence (I made that lyric up, but I'm sure you've heard something very similar to that). I labored through the article, but you could really write that same article with half the space, just by tightening up the sentences.
But you never know, maybe the guy has some minimum length requirements for his essays...

[Nikki]

Wow i thought the article wwas written with clear thought, understanding and genuine interest behind it. No matter what one does critics will be there trying to put someone down. If you think you can do better- do it yourself! Well done Mr.Braidwood, we hope to see more of your writing in future and i know im not alone in saying that!

[Michael Mardings]

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The internet’s longest running entertainment/celebrity magazine

Thank you for your time and have a great day.

- Michael Mardings